Tasmanian Devils, the rather unpleasant animal that inspired the Warner Bros cartoon character, are dying from an infectious face cancer caused by industrial pollutants. The Tasmanian government needs money in order to save the species. Somehow, this became my job.
I presented the following scripts to Tasmanian government officials, who loved them (they want to produce the scripts with Tasmanian actor Eric Bana, who played the Hulk in Ang Lee’s 2003 version). The scripts revolve around a character I call the Handsome Devil—a suave, sophisticated Tasmanian Devil in a suit who nonetheless can’t quite keep his inner nature contained.
I worked on these with my art director partner at Green Team, Alan Stuart—we were both inspired by Matt Berry’s suited-asshole character on the short-lived UK comedy series Snuff Box (check out this compilation of the “boyfriend” scenes, some of the funniest bits in the show).
(Richard Metzger, my Creative Director when I worked at Disinformation, has the uncanny superpower of knowing exactly what’s worth watching, reading and listening to at any time; he’s been steadily keeping me updated on shows like Snuff Box for the last several years.)
Here’s the scripts:
WE PAN IN TO SEE DEVIL NEAR THE RAILING OF A BEAUTIFUL
YACHT WITH PEOPLE MINGLING ABOUT. ASCOT AND BLUE SPORT
COAT WITH GOLD BUTTONS. SHORT SWIM TRUNKS, NO SHOES OR
SHIRT. HAIRY CHEST.
DEVIL
Yeah, I’ve done OK for myself. But what
good is money, women, cars, a personal
meat locker, and a digital toilet that
wipes for you if you don’t have friends?
DEVIL motions to people on the ship.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
Oh these? They’re not friends.
He takes off his Rolex.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
This watch? I paid for this on credit. I
paid for all of it on credit. Who cares?
My species is going extinct!
He throws the watch overboard, as the crowd looks on in
surprise.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
(Throws hands up.) DON’T CARE!
Two of the shipmates in the background put on masks and
dive in to find the watch. DEVIL starts to walk through
the yacht, speaking to the camera.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
Tasmanian Devils aren’t doing so well.
Pretty soon, there won’t be any of us
left to sail the Maldives, or take in an
afternoon polo match, or even just to
fight over a ratty old chicken bone. It’s
just sad, really. What good is today if
there’s no tomorrow?
He swirls his drink, then sits between two beautiful,
bikinied ladies - but clearly bored with it all, and not
happy about the future. One of them feeds him a
drumstick, and he squeals a bit as he snips at the meat.
TEXT CARD
TASMANIAN DEVILS ARE GOING EXTINCT.
SAVE THEM AT FRIENDSOFTHEDEVIL.COM
…
HANDSOME DEVIL: CASINO
HANDSOME DEVIL stands at a roulette table, wearing a tux.
DEVIL
Bet it all on black.
DEALER
And black wins!
Crowd goes wild. HANDSOME DEVIL loudly laughs.
DEVIL
Ah, life. A noble adventure, to be
savored to the fullest. Nobody knows that
better than a Tasmanian Devil. We live
every day like it’s our last, because for
us, it could be. We’re going extinct. And
while I’m here trying to win the money to
save our species, there’s only so much
one Devil can do. That’s why Tasmania
needs your support to keep Tasmanian
Devils from going extinct.
Two women, in blue dresses, of course, slide up to the
HANDSOME DEVIL, having noticed his win.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
In the meantime, I’ll be doing the best I
can. (Turns to girls.) Say darlings, care
to repopulate?
A FEMALE DEVIL puts her hand up on the HANDSOME DEVIL’s
shoulder. In a moment of his true nature coming out, he
twitches and turns to bite the hand. All laugh.
TEXT CARD
TASMANIAN DEVILS ARE GOING EXTINCT.
SAVE THEM AT FRIENDSOFTHEDEVIL.COM
…
HANDSOME DEVIL: WINE
DEVIL IS DOWN IN HIS WINE CELLAR METICULOUSLY TURNING HIS
BOTTLES (CLEARLY A COLLECTOR).
DEVIL
Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there.
(Glances back at wine.) A good rule of
thumb is to give each bottle a quarter
turn every six to eight months. That way
sediment won’t collect and spoil the
wine - or its value.
DEVIL PICKS UP A BOTTLE OFF THE SHELF.
DEVIL (CONT’D)
Take this one, for example - a perfectly
preserved bottle of 1936 Chateau Lafitte.
It’s worth a small fortune. It’ll be
worth twice as much next year as it is
now… but really, what’s the difference?
DEVIL IS UNCORKING THE BOTTLE AS HE CONTINUES.
DEVIL
In a few years, us Tasmanian Devils will
all be gone. Extinct. So why bloody not,
I always say!
DEVIL LOOKS AROUND FOR APPROVAL, THEN TAKES A SWIG FROM
THE BOTTLE. A BIT OF A CRINGE.
DEVIL
Could use a bit of breathe.
POURS SOME ON THE GROUND (FOR THE HOMIES).
DEVIL
It’s been a tough few years.
TEXT CARD
TASMANIAN DEVILS ARE GOING EXTINCT. SAVE
THEM AT FRIENDSOFTHEDEVIL.COM
CUT BACK TO DEVIL LICKING THE WINE OFF OF THE CELLAR
FLOOR.
Several months ago, I worked on a pitch for 
(From g-Think, May 2008)
(From g-Think 18, May 2008)